offwiththeirdollheads: (Default)
"In horoscopic astrology, a Saturn return is an astrological transit that occurs when the planet Saturn returns to the same place in the sky that it occupied at the moment of a person's birth." *

So here I am, slap bang in the middle of my first Saturn Return and it sure does feel confusingly turbulent. Theoretically speaking,'adulthood' should be the period of our lives when all the pieces start to come together; we develop a greater understanding of who we are and what role we play in society. The last threads of childhood should be cleanly snipped away and we can finally inhabit the adult skin we've harvested on our bones for all these years.

Throughout my early twenties I was convinced that as I began to reach the next decade (I still struggle to accept the word 'thirty'), everything would start to make more sense. The truth is, personally speaking, I've never felt further away from that ideology. The world is even more confusing, I will never understand a planet that harbours war, famine, murder, prejudice, animal cruelty and all the evils we see gracing the newspapers and magazines on a daily basis. My own personal world is just as confusing; I see people creating their own families and I am forced to accept that the prospect of doing the same is very unlikely. The idea of a career is a fallacy and I find that my greatest achievement is knowing that I have been able to make it through the day.

This is beginning to sound like 'Oh, woe me.' - However, this is not the case. I'm grateful for being in the position I am. It could be worse. We are the architects of our own future. We are solely responsible in shaping our own fate and we do this by making the most of what we have. In saying this, I'm still awaiting that 'Eureka!' moment. That soul-tingling, bone-shattering, mind-imploding instant where suddenly everything makes sense and you abruptly find yourself hurtling down the right path and you kick yourself and laugh because you 'knew it all along'.

I'm sure it's coming.

I guess most of us are looking for a similar thing and by this I don't mean having lots of money or owning an expensive house or being made 'top of the class'. It's beyond possessions or any other material object. It is about finally having that knowledge of where you fit in between the land and sky. It's about understanding how your actions are contributing to a greater use, therein attempting to create a better world even if the action is small in nature. It's about contentment, fulfilment and connection, however you may find it. I guess some people spend most of their lives trying to attain even a pinch of these things. It is a journey and at this moment in time, I have no idea of the destination. I can only hope that by the time of my next Saturn Return, I will have made a little more sense of it all.

*Source [ -]
offwiththeirdollheads: (Default)
We forget to look around and observe the world outside from our own individual perspective. It's not uncommon knowledge that there is not one true perspective as we all experience the world in our own unique way. There are only so many words we can use to convey how we experience 'life as we know it'. Even the most articulate of people will never truly paint a picture of how they view the world, even with a novel's worth of perfectly formed sentences detailing each breath and thought as they occur in real time. I am sure they will make a very good translation but there will never be another individual sat inside the cosy confines of a person's brain and be given the opportunity to look out at the world through their eyes. It's too easy to get caught up in our day-to-day dramas or routines. Trust me, I know. Sometimes we have to be the ones to throw that bucket of ice cold water over ourselves when we are tempted to hit the snooze button once again. Sometimes we need to be the ones to give ourselves a hard pinch or force ourselves out the front door and lock it and throw away the key. It is only until then that we can start to change the cycle and change our perspective. Everything takes a little work.
offwiththeirdollheads: (Default)
Calling on illusions.
They are the diamonds and the heartbeats and the basic nourishment that flows through the guts.
Calling on superficiality; the bitter dilution of the blood, the leash of the soul and the distorted perspective of a reality that is meandering down the sink-hole.
Dance in the mouth of the monster.
Whisper your prayers to the plastic idols and the angels and the mother.
This is the garden where we break our bones and throw them down the wishing well.
To give up our spines to make our wishes come true.
Nothing is achieved from nothing and everything is achieved from nothing.


offwiththeirdollheads: (Default)
Not an Oracle

January 2016


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